I don’t generally like writing about people on my blog because there’s no such thing as privacy anymore, but I feel this time, it’s warranted.
I’m dating a guy and it’s just so happened that I found out he is an alcoholic. Alcoholics while dating, just wasn’t on my radar as far as deal-breakers because I’ve never known any alcoholics. It’s just not something I thought of, but here we are. I’ve had friends who drank a lot but I’d hardly call them alcoholics since they only seemed to drink at social gatherings.
We’ve been dating for 4 years now and I’ve hit my limit because I’ve realized he’s never going to change. No matter how many times I’ve told him to get help, he won’t. No matter how many times I’ve told him how his drinking is negatively affecting our relationship, he curbs it for maybe a week or two, but then he’s back to it. I’ve grown to hate Fridays now because that’s when he drinks the heaviest and gets belligerent and sometimes aggressive. One time, he got so belligerent, he started punching the walls and the neighbors called the cops. No bueno.
The bottom line is he has a mental illness and he won’t get help. His exact words to me were, “I’m not quitting drinking, so you can forget it”. I’ve binge-watched all the seasons of Intervention to know that an addict won’t seek help until they want to. And that’s IF they want to at all, so me keeping badgering him about it, isn’t going to do anything. So I’ve made the decision to no longer bring it up to him anymore and do what I have to do.
I’ll get more into it later, but I want to start journaling what he puts me through, to not only chronicle my day, but to also not forget, and let people know, that toxic people like this actually exist, so beware.
Narcissist
I normally go to bed at 10pm every night, but tonight, being a Friday, he excessively drank hard liquor and blasted the TV in the bedroom, seeing me trying to sleep, until past 11. Then when he got bored of that, I guess, he blasted music. I tried to sleep through it because he’s drunk and I don’t want to deal with arguing yet again, tonight. I am not an argumentative person, I’m more of a laid back introvert that likes peace and quiet, which unfortunately, this bothers him greatly because I’m also UN-reactionary and he thrives off getting reactions off people. It doesn’t work on me because I don’t see the point. But anyway, to avoid confrontation, I just try to sleep through it, unsuccessfully all while him having the audacity to ask me if the music woke me up. It’s as loud as a house party, of course it woke me up! And he knew it, but again, he’s a reactionary looking for a response form me so he can have an excuse to argue back.
I managed to sleep through it some, but I woke up in a haze to him still blasting the music. I looked at my watch and saw 2AM. He had been blasting the music for 4 hours. So I went into the living room and again he asks me if the music woke me up and again I told him no, to avoid conflict. So I get to the living room, recline back in my desk chair and closed my eyes. Literally seconds later, he comes out the room. I don’t want him bothering me asking more questions about sleeping so I turn on my PC and start doing some hobbies. He asked me about sleeping, I told him no the music isn’t bothering me, so then he goes back into the room, turns the music up 10 times higher and leaves the bedroom door open. His daughter then comes out her room and goes into the kitchen so the blasting music woke her up to. So here we are, everyone forced to stay awake because this guy wants to be the main character. Then he comes into the living room repeatedly asking me questions about the music artists.
I managed to sleep through it some, but I woke up in a haze to him still blasting the music. I looked at my watch and saw 2AM. He had been blasting the music for 4 hours. So I went into the living room and again he asks me if the music woke me up and again I told him no, to avoid conflict. So I get to the living room, recline back in my desk chair and closed my eyes. Literally seconds later, he comes out the room. I don’t want him bothering me asking more questions about sleeping so I turn on my PC and start doing some hobbies. He asked me about sleeping, I told him no the music isn’t bothering me, so then he goes back into the room, turns the music up 10 times higher and leaves the bedroom door open. His daughter then comes out her room and goes into the kitchen so the blasting music woke her up to. So here we are, everyone forced to stay awake because this guy wants to be the main character. Then he comes into the living room repeatedly asking me questions about the music artists.
it is 4AM. I don’t give a fuck, because I want to sleep.
I’ve never known someone who doesn’t give a fuck about anyone, treats them that way, but then goes ape-shit, pulls the victim card and say they’re being disrespected when the same energy is reciprocated back to them. I’ve never known someone who has a disconnect between actions and consequences.
It’s just so wild to me and I’m tired.