My narcissistic boyfriend is the king of crashing out to the point it’s predictable. Tomorrow, he has court for the apartment, but the problem is the court wanted proof that his daughter had been in the house in 2021 to keep the apartment since it’s NYCHA housing. The boyfriend can never handle stress so I knew there would be drama today, and as usual, he never fails to deliver.
Today, he went to his daughter’s mom’s house for her to sign a letter saying that her daughter had been at the house in 2021, and then somehow messed up the letters and caused him drama. Frankly, I don’t know why he always runs to her for this kind of stuff when he knows she’s a hoodrat that doesn’t know how to do shit. I’ve told him several times, starting 3 years ago, to cut her off, or she’s going to ruin this relationship and his life, but as usual, niggaz are hard-headed, don’t listen and can’t associate actions with consequences, so I am quite amused watching her ruin his life in real time and him crashing out each time, with each “session” ending in, “I’m cutting her completely off!” But then when the dust settles, some new situation arises and they’re right back at it. So my new realization is, he’s whipped by her and there’s nothing I can do about it, so I’m done wasting my time with this three-ring circus. I don’t have to put up with it and I’m not.
The other thing was, he had told me he was going to get the high school transcript showing that his daughter was living at the apartment in 2021, but that was about 2 months ago. And I think I remember telling him then, to not wait until the last second to get in touch with the school. Well, what does he do? Waited until the day of court, to get in touch with the school, expecting to get a transcript. I have never seen levels of procrastinations like this. So my prediction is, he isn’t going to get the transcript either and is just going to court with no proof of anything and lose the apartment. I’d hate to see it, but he had two months to prepare, and didn’t, so now his inaction will have consequences. But once again, niggaz can’t associate their actions with consequences. Everything will be somebody else’s’ fault.
He also said since she messed up the letters, he’s going to try and prove to the court that she’s bipolar, crazy and is always lying. I find it ironic that he said he’s going to do that because he always tells me as well that I’m lying and need help. LOL. I swear, narcissists do the most to accuse people of untrue things and then force themselves to believe the lie they created, and then go around telling others that you’re a liar just to ruin your life. The man is a demon and the only one who needs help is him.
But it doesn’t end there!
I decided to make tacos tonight and he comes in wanting to talk about relationship stuff, asking me hypothetical questions like, if he lost his job, would I pay the bills. I told him I wasn’t answering the question and he got annoyed. The reason I’m not answering that question because 1) the day had been going well and I didn’t want it ruined by dumb relationship conversations intended to bait me into conversations for 3+ hours that will only end in him crashing out faster and possibly the neighbors calling the cops again and 2) not only had he been drinking, but when he pops questions out of nowhere like that, it’s because he wants to start an argument, no matter which answer I give, and I wasn’t falling for it. I knew he was mad at his daughter’s mom for not signing the apartment papers correctly, so I knew there would be drama tonight because of it. Unfortunately, when he gets mad at her, he misdirects his anger for her, to me and I become his punching bag for verbal abuse. I ignore it and it only makes him angrier.
After I finish making dinner, he calls me in the bedroom and lectures me for 2-3 hours to try and get answers out of me, the same questions he gets drunk and asks me every week:
- Do you love me?
- Do you want to be here?
For the last several months, he gets drunk and then asks me these same questions, every week, over and over again, like a broken fuckin record. I used to answer them, but I got sick of it, and now I don’t, because whether I answer yes or no, he gets more irritated and even when I say yes, he responds, “No you don’t”. So, I’m really sick of the mind games. He can go and kick rocks. He claims his kid’s mom is bipolar, but after dealing with him for 4 years, I got to thinking … is she really bipolar? Or did he drive her fucking nuts with all the gaslighting and bullying he did to her like he does to me? He claims they were together 20 years, and I think living with a narc for 20 years and not knowing what’s in store for you, will definitely warp your sense of reality over time. That’s why I’m moving the fuck outta here once I find a job, ASAP, so I don’t end up like her.
Later that day, I overheard him talking with this daughter that he had been giving her mom lots of money, on top of was going to buy her mom a ticket to go to ComicCon. And I’m thinking to myself, why are you giving her any money at all and buying her tickets to go places? Sending mixed messages to a hoodrat is exactly why she isn’t ever going to go away or chill out because she already doesn’t know how to act and him keeping giving her gifts and favors, makes her think she still has a chance. Seriously, this woman has 3 (now grown) kids by 3 different men. If they left her the fuck alone, and I don’t see why can’t you.
But wait, there’s more! When I’m playing World of Warcraft later that night, he comes to me and says, “You probably think I’m bipolar, don’t you?” I had not been thinking of that at all, in fact, I wasn’t thinking about him at all because all I was too busy killing the 15 Hillsbrad Peasants for my quest without being nuked by Alliance in the process. He really gets big mad when my attention isn’t focused on him.
In another note, I applied to an opening at one of my old contractors today. I’m hoping I get the job. My hopes aren’t up too much because I’ve applied to 50 jobs and only about 30% have replied and they were all denials, but here’s for hope.
Also on another note, the boyfriend got so mad at me for no reason, that he locked me out the bedroom, so I’m sleeping in the living room at my desk tonight.
Can’t wait until I find a fuckin job. Sick of this. I think I might actually start a GoFundMe to see if I can raise some money in the meantime, so I can get the fuck outta here before things escalate.
