Cash App. Zelle. Venmo. PayPal. Bluebird. Netspend. Money apps that allow you to send and receive money quickly in a simple, sleek and modern interface. Money in, money out. Like millions of others, Cash App is my app of choice. Suckered into it by my roommate and haven’t been able to turn back since … until now. It seems no matter how good a card is, I can never truly integrate these cash apps into my financial flow for the long term because they’re unreliable. And living in New York City where shit happens in a flash, or you’ll miss it, I really can’t afford the time nor the money to miss an opportunity all because an app failed to deliver the service it promised. So before you take the plunge, here’s a few things to consider.

Why Do You Need A Digital Cash Card?

The first question to ask yourself is why do I even want these apps? In my case, it was for security and money retention.

Ever since I had two of my card numbers stolen from a hacked gas station, not once, but twice, I’m paranoid to use my cards in public. And I say just card numbers because I still had my cards in my hand while they were cleaning my bank accounts. They had made fake cards with my debit card number loaded onto it but the cashiers knew no difference. Then a month later, they did the same thing with my credit card and having chips on my cards made no difference. As a result of that terrible month, today I do all of my purchasing online on an encrypted Linux machine over a VPN. I no longer swipe my debit card at public establishments.

I got my money back but, I no longer felt safe. Anywhere. Not at the store. Not at ATMs. Hell, people still get mugged at those! And definitely not at gas stations. So, I started using prepaid cards with limited cash loaded. Ironically, I discovered this also let me save money because I wasn’t spending money I couldn’t see (wait, did I say that right?) Out of sight, out of mind! I’ve banked this way ever since; a top-secret debit card for bills and transfers, and a linked prepaid card for everyday spending, free for the hacking. Come on, take my $50!  My debit card stays at home locked in a safe and I don’t use it public anywhere, whatsoever.

Well, if you prefer the cards, then what makes you hate them so much now? Because of their …

Stupid Non-Sensical Rules

These prepaid cash cards work for a while, I’d say 1-2 years tops, but then either go sour or become shadows of their former selves that attracted you to them. Every single last one of them have and I’ve had a lot of prepaid cards because of this very reason. No matter how hard I try to stick to just one, something goes wrong that simply would never happen at a traditional bank and I eventually end up having to switch to another.

Initially I tried to use PayPal’s Debit MasterCard, but my card would decline unless I broke the items up into 2 or more purchases. I found out this was because although PayPal brags that you can use the card without having a balance, it puts a hidden limit where you can’t spend more than the highest amount you’ve ever ACH transferred to your PayPal account, but the limit can change. I eventually got so sick of the awkwardness, unreliability, and people piling up behind me in lines, I stopped using it a few months after I got it. R.I.P. PayPal.

Next, I started using AMEX Bluebird which was ok other than it being American Express so I couldn’t use it everywhere, but most places took it so I could get by. One day my mom gave me some money and told me to take it off her Bank of America card. So I linked it to my AMEX Bluebird, transferred the money and immediately AMEX locked my account. I called them and they said it was fraud to use someone elses’ card on my account and that it was permanently locked and they were closing my account. Lasted about a year or so. R.I.P. AMEX

Next up to bat was Netspend, which actually was pretty good as I got in when it was still kind of new. Transactions were free but the only drawback was I could only do ACH transfers so it wasn’t instant to get money to it. Then one day, Netspend changed their policies and started charging outrageous fees; $1 per swipe unless I paid $9.99 per month for the maintenance fee. Had the card a little over a year. R.I.P. Netspend.

Zelle. The motherload of stupid rules and how hard a cash app can fail. Although it doesn’t come with a card, it’s used for money transfers, kind of like how Cash App started, so don’t kid yourself, Zelle cards will be a thing in the future. But right now Zelle is by far the worst if you have to use the standalone app; it works fine if your bank has it. It will lock your account permanently if you try to open more than one account, and they won’t tell you. Additionally, you won’t be able to create an account if you have a prepaid phone or an unsupported bank. You also can’t use the same info on two different accounts, which is what happened to me and they locked my account. They also brag about instant transfers, forget it, it doesn’t. And what really sucks is people don’t find out they can’t create a Zelle account, until someone has already sent them money through it and they’re just signing up to pick it up. Guess what, they can’t. No wonder the app has a 2-star rating. It earned it. I had the app a total of 24 hours. R.I.P. Zelle.

Then there was Gobank which was actually pretty good and I had no complaints really, other than it was another ACH transfer card, so money was slow getting to it. I only eventually ended up closing it because I found the Cash App card. My roommate turned me on to the Cash App card and it was the best. The winning feature was being able to withdraw from my debit card instantly and the auto cash out feature. Well, that was until recently which is what made me write this article. Cash App got rid of the auto cash out and now all users can only cash out manually. Fail. Another cash card bites the dust. R.I.P. Cash App.

Their Support Sucks

Consistent Bugs

You’re Always A Suspect

No Customer Service

Blackballed Without Notice

It’s happened. You log into the app, notice features are missing and then you try to send money and get an error. You logout thinking relogging will fix it and then the dreaded error, “Your account is not available at this time. Please contact 1-800-Ur-Fucked”. Really? A bank or credit union would never do anything of the sort without notifying you first. And with many of these apps, once you’re blackballed, it’s for keeps. Your bank info, name, social security number, and all your selfie with face-recognition all get locked in their system for eternity so you can never sign up again. Ever. Even if you change your information, their system will surely pickup the things you can’t change like your social security number as that piece of info securely locks you in to the blackball

Constantly Walking on Eggshells

With technology constantly changing, not every company we deal with keeps up with the times. Not even these cash apps. Use it at the wrong place online and or use it in one state and then using it at a gas station could make you a suspect for hacking your own card and it goes on lock down. And with no customer service or support, you’re likely to not get it resolved in 24, 48 or even 72 hours.

Information Overload

Everyone wants to stay in compliance because no one wants to have their account locked or frozen. But in an age where Terms and Conditions and Policies it’s nearly possible or practical are constantly being changed, it’s damn near possible to keep track of it all. And the one time you don’t read that term or condition, your account it could potentially put you in jeorday for not following those non-sensical rules that yo uwould otherwise be able to do with your regular bank card.